Neither slow nor fast

“Take it slow.”

Why is everyone convinced that falling in love fast is bad? Most romantic movies portray people meeting and falling in love almost immediately. But when we experience such in real life, we hesitate. We don’t trust it. Our society has created an impression that taking it slowly is ideal. That when one quickly feels strongly for someone in real life, he / she should put a stop to it and allow it to progress more slowly. But who ever said taking it slow is the right way?

I know a lot of people who discourage moving too fast in a relationship. One of the reasons why these people warn against moving too fast is because they believe that love cannot happen in mere weeks or months; that relationships should begin slowly before loving too deeply. But I don’t buy the idea that falling in love follows a timeline; that you have to wait for a certain number of months (or years) before you tell someone you love them. I believe love grows and that it needs time to flourish. However, that doesn’t mean it cannot start growing early on.

There are those who wait for months or years before telling a partner they love them. There are some who say it after a few dates. But no one is quite sure which of the two lasts longer or ends right away. And this is because relationships aren’t programmed. Thinking that there’s a law or book we need to follow when it comes to love is quite limiting. And, it could possibly be even unhealthier. We fall and choose to love in different ways, at different paces.

For several times, I’ve tried hard not to let my guard down. I tried to “protect” myself and other people from the eternal damnation brought about by moving too fast. But this practice has led me to more complicated relationships that ended dramatically. Now, I allow myself to let my guard down and just let go. To feel. To experience. To simply love.

Love is a shared / mutual experience. But it is also an individual experience in the sense that nobody else can dictate you who to love, when to love, or how to love. Nobody, not even your friends, can tell you it’s moving too fast (or too slow). Nobody, not even your family, can tell you it’s not right. Because you’re the only person who experiences it. You’re the only person who knows what you feel is real. Love is never too slow nor too soon or too fast.

Today, I let go and I let love. I choose to feel, embrace, and own these feelings. I choose to love at my own pace, in my own way. I don’t know yet where the road will lead me but I know I’m definitely enjoying the ride. And even though there’s a long road ahead, I am not afraid nor bored. I am more than willing to let love take me to places I loved and never thought would love.

What we have is good and I want to just let it be good. Perhaps, it must really feel great in the beginning. It feels wonderful and too good to be true that we can’t believe it’s actually happening. Years from now, I hope we could both say that “rushing into it” was the right way for us. For now, I trust that what we feel is real.

You had me at “matulog ka na”. And since then, I’ve never been happier.

 

 

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