Out of the blue, my adviser and at the same time professor, started a chat in Facebook. He asked me, “nagdrop ka ba?”. I said, “hindi po”. I asked why and he said he thought I did drop the course. I told him that I was afraid to drop it because I’ll automatically be delayed. Then, all he said was, “naku”.
It has been days since I did not think nor imagine myself failing my first ever course which has a laboratory and duty/clinicals part. I was confident that Ill pass the course like everybody else. I failed exams. And so were others. I guess what my professor told me was a sign. I cannot help but think that what he was saying is, “you should’ve dropped the course last friday in order for you to not have a 5 in your transcript”. On one hand, I still believe that Im on God’s side. That He’ll help me no matter what. That He’ll always be at my side, waiting for me to say, “Lord, help me with this.” I admit that Im lazy at times. I may be driven to be that way because a lot of distractions came along. However, the fault and blame should be mine.
I always recall what a professor told my classmates, (nonverbatim) “so what if you failed? It does not mean that you’ll stop there.” Yes, our professor is right. It’s not the end of the world. What we need to do is to push through with the minute steps were taking in order for us to fulfill our dreams and aspirations in life.
Today, I have come to realize that I may have the blessings to hear and speak and yet I sometimes do not use them accordingly. What does this have to do? Maybe nothing. But it assured me that whenever I listen and not just hear what God is saying, Ill be healed. That whenever I speak and not just talk, I am with God who wants to be with me the most. Speak and you shall be heard. Listen and you shall learn.
So much of this. I have things to review for my upcoming exams. Moreover, I need to ready myself to face the truth tomorrow at 12 noon.
As always, namaste! 🙂